Boston Gal's Open Wallet

b.g.:

allow me to re-normalize your world.

my little one (will be four shortly) has one measly waffle (eggo) for breakfast, after a lot of prodding. that sustains her till lunch. more often than not, her lunch box is not empty by 5:30 pm, and mom is hopping mad at her.

point being: all kids are different, and grass is always greener on the other side.

- s.b.

 

Whenever my brother, his wife and two kids come up to visit they seem to always be eating. They will have some type of fast food in the car ride up, eat dinner, then before bed are looking to eat again. Are always looking for juice for the kids. What stuns me the most is how they stay thin? If I ate like that I would hate to see what I would look like.

 

Yes, there are definite benefits to staying single! My plan is to make the little buggers help with all those chores they create. The food bills will be a definite problem when they get to be teenagers, especially teenage boys.

 

It's tons of work, and it does cost more to feed more family members, but I'm shocked by the $245 only being for part of the week, especially for smaller children.

My three kids are 7,9 and 14 - and the only time our grocery bill hits $250/week is if I've done no planning and am buying lots of junk/convenience food, or am having to restock a completely empty pantry. I cannot imagine spending that much twice each week!

Kids around here help clear, scrape, wash & put away. The trash is not as bad as it could be - making it fresh means no jars/cans to pitch, and fewer boxes.

Anon.'s point is good: all kids are different... and families, too.

Enjoy the peace & quiet - until the next family gathering's happy noise and chaos. :)

 

This is exactly why Mr Chiots and I have decided against having children.

 

We have 2 kids -- a 4 and 2 year old. Our grocery bill has never been more than $100 a week. Spending $250 twice a week seem extreme.

 

Thank you for this post. A lot of the posts - and especially comments - on this blog have been pretty unsympathetic toward families with children. While $250/week is high for groceries, if you are starting from scratch and don't already have spices, etc. that sounds about right. There might be *some* children who live on one waffle but I don't know many kids who are like that. When kids are growing, they eat CONSTANTLY.

One reason it can be expensive to feed a family is that exhaustion can make convenience foods/eating out more attractive. I have to set goals and force myself to trudge through some days so we don't overspend. Also, there's a reason why parents try to get their kids to 'clean their plates' because kids like to eat every 2 hours. It's normal for them. So I often feel like a short-order cook.

Enjoy your peace and quiet...I certainly miss mine some days. :) And yes, children really do cause money to vanish.

 

hi,
i know kids are expensive, but you are forgetting something . once you have them , they change your life so much in a positive way that you wonder how you ever lived without them .i have a 4 yr old and I feel like my life before he was born is another lifetime .

And what is the use of all the money in the world if you don't have some one to share with .... and experiences that change you ...

 

We have three kids (15 boy, 13 girl, 12 girl) and budget $600 per month for groceries and Wal-Mart (i.e. toiletries, paper goods, etc) Eating out money is a separate category of $100 per month. They eat a lot. I make a lot of homemade bread just to keep them full.

The peace and quiet is nice (my kids are gone to Colorado this week) but the happy sounds of laughing, happy children are equally pleasant! As for the cleaning, it NEVER ends.

 

I also think $250/week is pretty expensive even for a large family. My family's only 3 people (1 child), but we only spent $385/month on average during 2008 on groceries. Even if we doubled our spending, we still wouldn't hit $250 per week, let alone 3-4 days. Something tells me your s-i-l isn't much of a wholesale club shopper and probably buys all the brand name stuff that's not on sale.

 

Lest anyone who is reading this post starts to freak out about affording kids, let me say there is no way that feeding a family of 5 with all three kids under 7 has to cost anywhere near what BG's SIL claims to spend! I'm hardly a bargain shopper, and as a two-income family we spend a fair amount on convenience-type foods (e.g. pre-made spaghetti sauce), but we spend roughly $600/month for a family of five.

 

B.G.

As another single gal in the Boston area who visited family over the holidays, I understand exactly where you are coming from! This post made me chuckle -- it echoed the conversation I had just yesterday!

This weekend, it's just me and my cat, Puck. Slippers, pjs, catching up on a few blogs, reading and maybe watching a movie are in the plans -- along with making some split-pea soup.

Enjoy!

 

I would like to echo the thanks of Missy, at 4:20 Jan 2. It does seem like many personal finance bloggers and commenters are unsympathetic to the costs of raising children. There is often a lot of judgement floating through comments about why aren't people saving more, etc.

Also, while cooking from scratch does save money, if you don't have your pantry stocked with all the flour, seasonings, etc., then it can get expensive--our grocery bills are much more expensive than usual when we go on a week vacation to a condominium.

Of course, $500/week is extreme, but food is expensive, especially if you try to cook with a lot of fresh or organic ingredients. Different markets are also more expensive than others.

Then, you add in clothing and all those other things the kiddies need--like shampoo and toothpaste and beds to sleep in and chairs to sit on, not to mention the experiences you might WANT for your children (like music lessons or participation in community sports or saving for college), and it does add up, even when you strive to be wise and modest.

 

Oh BostonGal--how I hear ya!

My 15 year old grandson spent the night over New Year's. He was in my home less than 24 hours, but consumed one gallon of milk, an entire huge bag of bagged cereal, a bag of Doritos (which I had intended for myself, but I was too late!)and a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi. Oh, and that didn't include dinner or breakfast!

 

This weekend I am babysitting my sister's three children, ages 3, 6, and 9. I had forgotton how difficult it is to do the simplest thing when there's a 3-year-old in the house—they require constant attention, and with three kids, my day has been a steady stream of interruptoins. I don't know how I ever cooked a meal when my kids were little. So I won't be the one to tell a harried mom that she should be making waffles from scratch rather than popping an Eggo in the toaster.

At the other end of the spectrum, my father recently passed away after three years in a nursing home with Alzheimer's disease. I visited him almost every day, usually at dinnertime, as I work full time. We ate a lot more takeout than I would have liked during that time, but it was a good tradeoff. Kids or no kids, you have to choose your battles!

 

i hear ya. i'm dating a girl w/ a kid that has moved in with me. and this little guy is thinner then I am but is always eating something. i think a lot of it is because he'll open a snack pack, take 2 bites, and then leave it out and not touch it again so I have to throw it away when it goes stale. as for drinks, we quit using sippy cups on him cause he'll leave them out and then the dog chews the lids off. we tried normal cups (in kid size tho) and he spilled kool-aid all over the notebook computer which fried its hard drive ($80 for another one) and so we just have to keep him on fruit juice boxes until he becomes less clumsy. and even after he just gets done eating, if i cook myself something, he'll come in wanting some of it, and if i don't give him any he'll whine to his mom who gets onto my case about it, so i just give him some food and 99% of the time he just takes it to his room and never touches it again. kids are such a pain in the rear, I don't even understand why people want to have any. we can't even take him to a movie because he'll start talking to the people sitting next to us, cry randomly, or sit on our laps and keep squirming around, and if we take him out of our lap he'll start crying.

 

I have 3 little ones and I can tell you that money just seems to fly out the window, but with us its not food its other stuff, most notably child care (about $3,000 just on pre-school).

 

I believe that the caloric requirement for a child under 7 is about 50% of an adult's. They are growing fast and need food! This percentage could be off, but if so it's not off by much.

@Squeezer99:

Your post is concerning to me, as it sounds like you actually don't like children at all (or at least this child) and are not sympathetic to their needs. I would strongly suggest ending the relationship with a woman who has moved in with you, "that has a kid" that you find annoying for--basically--being a kid--and "whining" (your word) when you don't let him try food you are making. Sounds like he must be under 5 if he's getting significant lap time. If you do want to pursue the relationship, you might want to pick up a book about child development. You really can't understand young kids that well, or treat them well, without having studied it a little bit at least.

Good luck, and be aware that being in a relationship with a woman who has a young child entails responsibility to both her and to her child.

 

Yet another case that shows money is on the perimeter of parenting. Parents aren't always excited about raising happy, stable and successful children. Kids might not remember which groceries parents bought, but they'll remember how their parents treated them.

 

I think the consensus opinion is that every child is different. Some eat a lot, some eat a little. I think you S-I-L was trying to make it easier on you by getting stuff that was/is quicker and easier to make/prepare. However, yeah, that is a lot of food. My son and I spend about 250 to 300 bucks a month on groceries.

However, when my parents are in town (as they are now) and live with me for a few months, holy carp do we go through food. They cannot have a simple meal. They need 4-6 choices on every meal. Last night for dinner was a pork roast, mashed potatoes, stuffing, steamed broccoli, and raw veggies and dip. I would have been good with the broccoli and pork, maybe the stuffing or potatoes. For them it is a must. The same thing go for the trash bags. I go through (and I am serious) maybe - 2 33 gallon bags a month. When my parents are in town, I go through probably 2 a week at least. They buy so much stuff, and throw away the packaging. I can go weeks without putting out my recyclables (since it is not full) but we are over flowing in 3 days with they are in town.

It is all a matter of what you are used to and what people tend to do when they are at other people's homes. Every family dynamic is different, for 100's of reasons. Kids are the same way.

 

Just found your blog through Budgeting Gal. Love it, especially as I am in the Boston area. Two thoughts. One, I have a family of four plus a cat and we max at $120 - 150 a week, including health and beauty aids, laundry detergent, school projects and snacks for when friends are over, cat supplies, and all other items supermarkets offer for spending convenience. The kids know how to cook and like good food -- gumbos, tandoori, you name it. I check what plant life and meats are on sale and plan around that as possible. Garbage is mostly recyclable, with one 33 gallon bag every two weeks. Also, wanted to let you know about Get Rich Slowly, a blog by a friend of my brother's. He was in debt, decided to get out, and has tracked his progress upward.

HHR

 

It sounds like the food was for more than just a family of five. At the minimum, it fed 3 adults (including BG) and 3 kids. And it sounds like other people were eating at time - ie. grandparents. Entertaining is expensive.

Just an idea - next time they come, try having different colored cups/coffee cups and assign each person a color. The toddle is purple and grandma is green and then they always use that cup. It saves on washing and that is what many big families do. For the kiddos, you could also buy colored plates to match their cups. It also works well with towels but I doubt that you want to buy new towels.

And now that you know how expensive it is to feed a family, maybe you could stock up on home-made muffins and bread before they come. Think of it as a gift to your very considerate SIL.

 

Also, realize that do most of your commentors live in boston? Do they know the prices of food here? It's a lot higher than most of the US exception might be CA. But the deals aren't nearly as good as elsewhere and coupons are bad in the area.

So $250 might be like $100 of food in the midwest or even on the east coast a cheaper COLA. BG is paying a premium in food in the city and it's pricy.

It's possible your SIL If she lives elsewhere pays less for that much food in general.

At least that's what I get when people visit and are shocked by grocery prices.

Although my family from hawaii thinks it's dirt cheap and treats my house like a bonanza.