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| Wednesday, May 16, 2007 |
| Can you really separate money from emotions? |
I have always been the type of person who tries to see things from another's point of view. Perhaps this is why I tend to tip more than is warranted. It could also be why I seem to do okay as a landlord. I think about what my tenant would want and try to provide that (within reason). Empathy and finances seems to work for me.
When I was younger fear was a great motivator. Fear of never being able to afford to move out of my Mother's house prompted me to buy my condo at auction. Fear that I would not be able to afford said condo lead me to work harder and eventually change jobs and get onto a better career path.
Once I felt confident in my abilities to work and support myself, the fear went away to be replaced by worry. Worry that I might not have enough saved to handle periods of unemployment. Worry about dealing with unexpected expenses. This prompted me to get serious about funding an emergency account. It also helped me keep my spending in check and start living on less than I earn.
Eventually the worry was replaced by satisfaction. I had money in the bank, consumer debt was eliminated, and retirement savings were gaining steam. Money was no longer tied to negative motivational emotions, now it was positive. Adjusting to that took a bit of time.
Will I ever be able to view money dispassionately? Not feel anything? I doubt it. Whether it is empathy with another's money feelings or just my own, money and emotions seem intertwined. |
| posted by Boston Gal @ 12:08 PM *
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| 8 Comments: |
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Definitely. The more I blog about money, the more I see it's related to just about everything. I wonder if women generally have more emotional responses to it than men?
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Money isn't real. It allows me to do things so I think its a good thing that I don't separate money from emotions as long as I'm aware of it.
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I didn't really have many emotions associated with money until I started to accumulate more and more - the accumulation initially was just because I didn't want to spend as much as I was earning. Then there is a mix of feelings of security and worry/fear that I'll lose it.
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How would the deadpan no-emotions crowd react if asked to sign a prenup? Would you ask your fiance to sign one? How would you react if s/he refused? I think that's the ultimate test...
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I think it is all about the person. I know men and women who rely on their significant other and never think about money or worry about it. Boston Gal to me is a strong independent woman who depends on herself and thus the worry falls to her.
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I, too, view money very emotionally. My relationship with money seems to be based largely on fear. My father declared bankruptcy at the age of 50, and it scared me pretty badly--I never want to be in that situation.
Having said that, there's a limit to which I should allow my emotions to mix with my finances. It's something I'm constantly assessing.
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I haven't noticed that a relationship of emotion to money in my life, but I've heard it's common for others.
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Definitely. The more I blog about money, the more I see it's related to just about everything. I wonder if women generally have more emotional responses to it than men?